Battle Royale

I’ve been overweight for most of my life.

Oh, I was thin as a very young child. My mom has pictures of me, pre-kindergarten, skinny as a pole. I don’t remember that time, though. In my memories, I’ve always been chubby—and whether that’s colored by my present is anyone’s guess.

Strangely, though—ironically—my weight was never the main focus of the bullies at school. I was intelligent, nerdy, shy, frustrated easily, a loner, wonderful with adults but kind of awkward around those my own age, and those were the main teasing targets. Teacher’s pet? Definitely. Cry-baby? Absolutely. Fatso? I’m sure it was hurled my way once or twice, but I don’t have any stinging memories associated with the word. Fortunately or unfortunately, there were other things on which kids could focus their insults. The teasing never got horrible, though, and for that I am truly thankful.

So I survived elementary, middle, and high school, and then went on and conquered college. I am currently in my first semester of graduate school, studying for my master’s degree in mechanical engineering. (The jury’s still out on whether that makes me insane, stupid, or a glutton for punishment.) I just turned 23 (Oh God, where has the time gone?) a few weeks ago, I’m embarking on a new phase in my life, and yet…

…those extra pounds are still there. It’s more than a few extra pounds, though, isn’t it? Those online BMI calculators stick me with a number of 34.4, which, according to them, means that I’m not just overweight, but obese. Overweight, yes. I’ve acknowledged that for a long time. But obese? That’s a new one, which I’m still not sure about. (And since BMI doesn’t really take into account muscle vs. fat, I think I have a good argument, but that’s a topic for another post.)

This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about trying to lose weight. Every New Year, every time the school year starts again, I tell myself—this will be the time I take charge and lose the weight. And every time, the motivation quickly dwindles away. I know why—my willpower is nil, and I can be quite lazy. I’ll have that billion calorie restaurant meal because it’s just too good to resist. Exercise gets tossed to the side because I don’t like it, and I’d rather use that time to chip away at either my sleep debt or the huge load of schoolwork I have. (Grad school. Fun fun fun.) They may not be good reasons, but they are my reasons, and I’m not going to lie about them.

But there’s a first time for everything, right? And I’ve never had such a clear goal—one of my friends is getting married this coming summer, and another friend and I are going to be her greeters. I’d love to look my best for that. And I’ll admit, that’s my biggest motivating factor—not health, but looks. I want to be able to shop in a normal store, instead of being limited to the plus-size section. I want upper arms that don’t flap like wings. I want inner thighs that don’t rub together when I walk. I want to take a picture and not have to worry at all about double chins.

All of which brings me here, to this blog that I was talked onto starting. (Hi, McB! *waves*) I don’t know if it’ll help, but it couldn’t hurt, right? Some real life stuff might sneak in, but I think this will mostly be about weight loss at the moment. I’ll try to post my weight, what I’m eating, and what I’m doing, and you, the nameless, faceless internet, can tell me what to change and nag me when I slack off. (Gentle nagging only, though. Pushing and yelling are the quickest ways to get me to ignore anything you say.) I’m sure I’ll have lots of questions, both silly and not, and I’m open to any and all suggestions.

So, here it is. The first stats. I’m 5’5.5” tall (I am, really, and I’ll fight you for that extra half inch). Around the beginning of August, I weighed 220 pounds. Now, last time I checked, I’m at about 209 or 210. Who knows which way it will go? Or how far?

Me against my teeny-tiny willpower.

It’s going to be a battle royale.

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3 Responses to “Battle Royale”

  1. DR Says:

    Hi Brit,

    I just added the RSS feed to my reader…Looking forward to your journey

    I updated my HIIT post – thanks for the feedback

  2. Brit Says:

    Thanks DR. I looked around the WordPress FAQ, so I think I might kind of understand what an RSS feed and a reader are. 😛 Where does one get a reader?

    I’m not sure how well my journey will go, but you never know, right?

  3. DR Says:

    Hi Brit

    In computing, a feed aggregator, also known as a feed reader, news reader or simply aggregator, is client software or a Web application which aggregates syndicated web content such as news headlines, blogs, podcasts, and vlogs in a single location for easy viewing.

    The most commonly known web-based aggregators are reader applications on the web. These are meant for personal use and are hosted on remote servers.

    Examples include the popular Google Reader, Bloglines, NewsGator or Techmeme. Because the application is available via the Web, it can be accessed anywhere by a user with an Internet connection.

    I use google reader because I use iGoogle as my home page. This way I can see the rss feeds from my favorite blogs, a weather report, my emails….all at one glance

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